WHAT ARE YOU NEEDING IN THE NEW YEAR?

What didn’t work for you last year? What was ineffective and exhausting? What left you defeated and tired?

I am not much for New Year’s resolutions, which is somewhat surprising seeing that I am always thrilled by fresh starts. As a child I always loved the beginning of a new school year and even as an adult (still in school) I feel the same as I prepare for the next semester to begin. There is such motivation, hope, and commitment in new beginnings. Yet the thrill of preparing for what lies ahead often hinders my ability to see the capacity I have as just one person.

As I reflect on the past year, this has become more evident than ever before. The joy of learning and growing in God’s Word truly creates such passion in the depths of my soul, which fuels my other passion for sharing His amazing truths with the world around me. I’m grateful for this passion that just seems to consume my thoughts at times, and I am certain it is a result and overflow of my love for God.

But somewhere this past year amid the new opportunities, the passion that seemed to fuel the fire was being replaced by frustration –if that even makes sense. I was tired, slightly agitated, and completely overwhelmed because in the busyness of preparing for the many things that I had said yes to, I unknowingly misplacement my priorities The many lists that I was trying to complete and the tasks that I was excited to accomplish began from the best place in my heart. They were good things –they were God things. But something was missing –something felt “off”.  I would wake up in a rush most mornings and go to bed exhausted many nights.

The realization that there had been a shift in the condition of my heart led me to prayer asking God to show me what I should do to feel less stressed.  Yet even my prayer life was crammed in between the cracks of drying my hair, brushing my teeth, and rushing out the door. My heart which was once so gracious to have the spaces to be used by God was still grateful but also frantically exhausted.

I continued to pray and wait for God to reveal to me how to move forward. Was I doing too much? Did He want me to remove something? What if I cut something out that was supposed to remain in, and what if I left something in that was supposed to be cut out? As I poured my third cup of coffee, the questions, worries, and anxieties swirled like a cyclone in my busy and very chaotic mind.  

The fear of messing up seemed to only push me to strive harder and harder. Until one night a seemingly uneventful moment opened my eyes to the simple truth that had been there all along –I was just running at a pace that hindered me from seeing it. On the last night of a trip that our family had taken, we had unknowingly packed the evening with too much. It was all good stuff –all stuff that we could enjoy as a family but too much became too late for us and without a doubt too late for our six-year-old who loves her sleep. It became obvious that she was overly tired and ready for bed as we all were. The lack of sleep quickly transformed her sweet giggles and laughs (even in her sleepy state) into overwhelmed frustration.  Our super fun family night had taken a turn and now my sleepy baby girl was too worked up to even want to sleep. But as I laid her down and kissed her precious tear-streaked face, she looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes and said, “But Mom, I’m not sleepy.” In that moment she may have thought she did not need a good night’s rest, but as her mom –the one who knows her and loves her, I knew what she needed better than she did.

The words that came out of my mouth next echoed in my ears until morning. “Sweet girl, I know you don’t think you are sleepy, but you need rest and so do I.” Before I had completed the sentence, I could hear the low hum of her breath already fast asleep.”

REST! It obviously wasn’t a word that was new to my vocabulary, but it was the truth that I had been searching so hard for, yet my words to her confessed that in my heart of hearts, I knew what had been lacking over the past year.

 The passion that drove me to honor God in all of my ways had somehow caused me to forget that to honor Him, I must also REST in Him. I wonder how many times over the past year He had impressed upon my heart the same words that rolled so easily off of my tongue to my baby girl –YOU NEED REST. However, the pace at which I was living the day-to-day life clouded my perception of what I needed most. I was grumpy, frustrated, and overstimulated. Somewhere along the way, I had stopped listening to the One that my heart desired to please the most –the One who wanted me to stop and REST in Him.

I stared out of the kitchen window that morning and watched the horizon transform before my eyes with the most magnificent shades of blue and pink almost as if the stage was being perfectly set for the sun to declare that morning had arrived. By no accident at all, I stepped outside that evening to watch that same sun trade places with the moon and the stars which declared it to be nighttime.  In the quietness of that night, somewhere in the depths of my heart, I heard it again –You Need Rest.

While I’m not big on resolutions, I believe reflection is imperative. With the coming New Year, I am not going to make a plan on how to say no to some things and yes to others. I’m not going to create another calendar to manage my time better. I’m not going to attempt to find the perfect solution to my inefficient ability to manage time. Instead, I’m going to reflect not on the moments that I celebrated over a checked-off box but instead, on the Joy of moments that caused me to sit at the feet of Jesus and just Rest.

What a beautiful picture Psalm 23 portrays of the love of my Shepherd and the truth that even when I am too tired to recognize what I need, He knows. And because of this and His love for me, “He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still water. He restores my soul.” (vs. 2-3).

He is the one that restores me. He makes right what is wrong. He mends what is broken. He brings relief. He offers me peace, hope, joy, and REST. He is the one that restores me.

 As the calendar will soon flip to a whole new year, take some time to reflect on the past one. What didn’t work for you last year? What was ineffective and exhausting? What left you defeated and tired? Whatever it is my friend, this is not where you have to stay. There is a different way —so stop and rest. Rest at the feet of your Shepherd and allow Him to lead you to exactly where He wants you. The place where He restores your soul.